Come Back, Liara
by newyorkersteph0804
Summary: A glimpse into Shepard's thoughts when she meets Liara at the beginning of ME3 after it becomes clear that the events of ME1 and ME2 have changed their relationship forever


Shepard missed Liara. It didn't matter that she could hear the Shadow Broker's soft footfalls following behind her as they crept through the Mars archives, or that she could glance over her shoulder any time and stare right into the asari's crystal blue eyes. Shepard missed the soft, shy woman whom she'd met at a different Prothean archive years ago, whose eyes had shone whenever she was presented with a new artifact or vision, who rambled on and on about whatever she was currently studying in that hushed, lilting voice of hers then blushed violet when Shepard smiled at her enthusiasm. The Liara who had first confessed her attraction to Shepard like a teenage schoolgirl, wringing her hands and staring at the floor, who had taken the death of her only known parent with the grace that Shepard could only imagine belonged to a queen, the Liara whose kisses felt like butterflies fluttering over Shepard's skin. The Liara she'd known back when everything was simple, everything was good, when they both believed nothing could ever come between them.

But this Liara... Shepard had no idea who she was. She remembered her heart racing as she climbed the ramp leading to Liara's office on Illium, barely able to restrain herself from bursting through the doorway as soon as it opened and throwing herself at the woman inside. But Liara's voice, her soft, beautiful voice was saying words that Shepard never thought she'd hear from her. The dissonance made Shepard dizzy. All her previous energy gone, she had slipped quietly into the office, still unable to process the sinister tone in Liara's voice and the way she squared her shoulders, glaring directly into the holo screen. Then Liara had turned around, called Shepard's name in that same familiar voice. But when she kissed her her blue lips felt cold and dry, and nothing felt the way it was supposed to.

Even after listening to Liara's story of the last two years Shepard was unable to comprehend how anything could have turned Liara, her Liara, into this... thing. It was only until Liara began to cry, standing at the Shadow Broker's terminal with Feron standing safe and free behind her and the yahg dead in pieces that she understood how much of a stranger Liara had become. Two years... two years. What had been a few days of lying on an operation table for Shepard had been two long years for Liara, two years of mourning Shepard, mourning Feron, hunting one of the most powerful being in the galaxy all for the sake of vengeance for Feron and a distraction from Shepard. Shepard knew that once, she had loved Liara. Now she felt like she was in love with a husk, a shell of the asari's past self, carved to bits by hate and grief and cynicism.

The tour of the SR-2 was a test more than anything else. A tentative excuse for Shepard to speak to Liara again, to hold her, to try to look into her eyes again and try to see the woman she loved inside. In the end, it had been pleasant; comforting words were exchanged, promises were made, and nostalgia tickled at the edges of Shepard's conscious. For a moment, just a moment, she thought they had done it- they'd made it simple again, they'd made it work. But the many nights she spent lying alone on the too-soft bed in Vancouver with no one but her own thoughts for company she wondered if it had all been wishful thinking.

And now this. Three Cerberus corpses piled in a heap on top of a stack of crates, each with cracked helmets and the remnants of biotic power crackling through their armor. Liara with her eyes dead and her jaw set as she shot them through the head, one by one, double-tagging each with brutal efficiency. _"Either you pay me or I flay you alive... with my mind."_ On Illium Shepard had felt dazed, confused. Now she only felt exhausted. How many times was this going to happen? How many times would Shepard have to get used to the acrid, biting tone that sometimes crept into Liara's voice, the dull glaze that settled over her eyes when she ripped a krogan apart with her biotics, the way she sometimes spoke as though she had forgotten that Shadow Broker was only her title, not her name.

She couldn't handle this. She was already dealing with the Reapers and intergalactic politics and the Illusive Man- the thought of trying to sift through Liara's heart to find her again was too much. She couldn't do this.

So that was how Shepard found herself entering Liara's base of operations on the Normandy, fully intending to tell Liara that they couldn't do this, not now, maybe not ever, and that she was sorry but she couldn't-

Liara turned around. Her cheeks lifted, and a wistful smile spread across her violet lips. "Shepard, it's good to see you."

And Shepard saw Liara as she was, avid student, archaeologist, Shadow Broker, warrior, shy, wise, weary, regretful, loving, sharp... and above all else, still Liara. And no matter how difficult loving her might be, Shepard sure as hell wasn't going to give up.


End file.
